by a Toy poodle.
Okay granted, it's the neighbors dog that they don't take care of. I mean a TOY POODLE is not an outdoor dog!!!!
She's absolutely FILTHY, she hungry, she's thirsty, and just about the cutest damn shaggy poodle I've ever seen.
So I leave a little food dish out for her so she stops eating left over McDonald's wrappers that the construction workers leave in the lot next door while they build. PIGS
But I digress, this little pooch is so STARVED for affection, that ANY attention you pay to her you get rewarded with the "cute factor warp nine display".
She gets all bunched up, her whole body "wiggles" and "wags" not just the tail, and she does all sorts of just inanely cute rolls and flips in her excitement.
She's such a friendly little thing "Candy" is her name.
And they ignore Candy next door, even when Dad and kids are in the street playing ball and Candy is doing all sorts of attention getting cute shit. They act like she's not even there!!!!!
She does however get attention here at this house. We all talk to her when she's out and about, she even greets US not her own family when we get home. It's like she's become our dog.
She's gotten to the point where we will be sitting here, then all of a sudden we hear a tiny "THUD" then the sounds of frantic scratching at the front door.
We open it to see Candy sitting on the front mat looking "CUTE".
She's learned how to "knock" on the front door.
OMG, what dog does this? It's like she's asking
"Can D come out and play?"
(cause I'm the only one here that actually gets out there on the ground with her and plays. I mean it's pretty damn easy to wrestle with a poodle that weighs all of 5 pounds, not a lot of effort to rough house with a pooch that size)
But DAAAAAAMN, it's every hour now she's throwing her little body against the door then scratching, and if you're not quick, she's *IN* the house.
If Mom and Dad wanted dogs in the house, Kaiser would be inside.
And speaking of MY DOG... WHAT A PUSSY!
Yesterday it was really storming, and Candy was all soaked and looking PATHETIC!!!!!
So I brought her into the garage here with Kaiser.
Mind you Kaiser is a GERMAN SHEPHARD and HUGE almost 100 pounds
Here's Candy, all 5 pounds of kinky, nappy bitchiness.
She totally had Kaiser WHIPPED!!
It was absolutely fucking HILAREOUS!
He'd go to sniff her butt, following her around, nose right in there, quite comical to look at, then she'd get angry, turn around an whap him, bark at him, just be a right little terror.
Kaiser just whimpered and cried and whined and nothing else. No retaliation, only this stupid look on his face like
"Duuuuuuuude, Like I'm only sniffin' yer butt chill man!"
I swear, if Kaiser were a human, he'd be a doped up hippy flower child of the 70's.
I so want to take Candy from the neighbors and stick her in my back yard with Kaiser permanently. I wonder if they'd even notice she was GONE.
*sigh* and speaking of little white holy terrors. She's back I can see her out the office window coming up the walk...
Wait for it...
What the Fuck is it with me and 4 legged animals?
Yes, I adore them, But sometimes it gets a little much.
Tune in next time when I tell you about the little Siamese Kitten (Well not so much Kitten anymore, it's about 6 months old) that follows me whenever I go outside for a walk (sans Kaiser).
I swear I am an animal magnet! And I'm a sucker, if I brought home every animal that follows me around, I'd need to live in a ZOO!
Do I smell like Liver or something?
ALRIGHT CANDY, for fucks sake I'm COMING! (She's fucking persistent damn it.)