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Last Doctor Visit was to the allergist and you saw the host of things wrong there...
Before that was to the Endocrinologist for my Diabetes and we're STILL trying to get that under control after the steroids whacked me all out of control in the ICU.... I'm up to 320 Units a DAY of Insulin, that is a TRUCKLOAD of insulin and my numbers are still exceeding 200 sometimes.

However, My Latest Visit was to the Neurologist and all I can do is sigh and say FUCK.

My Neuropathy is no longer just in my elbows. My Feet and legs bilaterally have become severely affected. I can no longer sense Hot or cold, sharp or soft sensations. My feet feel like blocks of ice constantly (That's how I experience "numbness" as a feeling of "cold"). And the sharp shooting pains just make me want to cry most nights.

But oh no, it's not just my feet. Apparently I also have a nerve in my GROIN that has decided it too wants to be a prick and it is affecting my outer thighs. So they too are always numb.

The Dr. Bhupalam (My Neurologist) prescribed some heavy duty medication to try to alleviate the pain in my nerves so I can sleep. But I swear I am only taking this stuff if I am weeping from the pain because it's some serious shit and the side effects are so MANY they are frightening and they recommend I wear a medic alert braclet letting EMS workers know I'm on this crap. O_O

It's called Gabapentin and usually prescribed to epilepsy patients. It's prescribed as a pain reliever for Neuropathy because it frigging CHANGES THE WAY YOU FEEL PIAN IN YOUR BRAIN. So I'm still in pain, just my brain can't process the pain.

That's like lying to your own head.

I only took one pill and I did sleep, I needed it, but I'm reluctant to take another unless I just cannot stand the pain. This medication frankly scares me.

I am so SICK of being perpetually SICK!

I just want to NOT HURT all the time, I just want to not have to take fist fulls of pills, inhalers and nasal sprays and give myself insulin shots just to function.


I'd settle for 24 hours of bliss and no pain at this point.



( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 1st, 2010 09:23 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah, I've heard of that. D8 I have a really high pain threshhold because of my epilepsy. That part of my brain is fucked up.

Do what you need to. You'll always have love and support here.
Feb. 2nd, 2010 02:11 am (UTC)
Thank you sweetie. xoxo
I don't doubt you have heard of this med. Those sorts of drugs are scary.
Feb. 2nd, 2010 02:23 am (UTC)
The side-effects aren't that different from mine. If it's not something that you're especially weak to (which you might be) as far as side-effects go and you're willing to take vitamins to compensate I don't think it'll be much of a problem. But being ready is a big part of it. I ended up not taking prozac when it was prescribed and I'm waiting for a different brain chemical straightener outer because I was weak to all those side-effects.
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 2nd, 2010 02:12 am (UTC)
Thanks! xoxoxox
And Shingles, OMG. You poor thing.
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 2nd, 2010 02:12 am (UTC)
I'm trying thanks! xoxoxo
Feb. 1st, 2010 10:34 pm (UTC)
Love, I'm.. I'm speechless... my heart hurts so much to know all of that... Love please, tell me if I can do something for you, I feel so stupid right now because I whine about my stupid problems and you are always here to cheer me up while you are suffering so much...
Please please if there is anything I can do for you, tell me and I'll do my best to cheer you up and to cuddle you! OMG I'm so sad and worried and angry with life right now... ç_____ç
Feb. 2nd, 2010 12:50 am (UTC)
Aw hon, I'm okay. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger right? I just look at it like this: I am still alive and yeah I hurt, but I am still kicking so no sense in making my life worse by being sad about it. If you can't laugh at life, it's time to give up and I'm not a quitter.

I have too many people in my life I Love. I have you and all my friends, my family, my kitties I'd rather hurt than not be with you guys tomorrow. *hugs* I'm currently sitting here in my recliner, with my electric blanket and one of my Kitties snuggling with me. I'm content even if I hurt, I am at least happy. <3

If you want to make me squee sometime, (when you get time which I know you don't have) all you have to do is do fanart of my Jareth sometime. I think I might implode if you ever tackled the Goblin King in all his glory.

Hell just the mental image of that is enough! LOL <3
Feb. 1st, 2010 11:14 pm (UTC)
That really sucks. :( Have you been to see a good acupuncturist or anything like that? Maybe it would help to explore some other avenues in addition to the usual medication route.
Feb. 2nd, 2010 02:13 am (UTC)
I did try acupuncture for about 7 months back in California, it didn't do much for me unfortunately.
Feb. 2nd, 2010 12:08 am (UTC)
You are one tough sh*t you know that? I swear you have dealt with more crap than I can even imagine. I wish I could just make it go away you know? And you have such a good sense of humor about it all. You really are amazing. I hope that things get better and gawd, I hope your diabetes evens out.
Feb. 2nd, 2010 02:14 am (UTC)
Me too. It's better to be tough than let crap you can't do anything about get you down right? I'm still above ground and I plan on staying here for a while.


Feb. 2nd, 2010 05:34 am (UTC)
I hope everything evens out...I think my dad was on Gabapentin briefly...please let me know if there's ever anything I can do. I feel so bad that I'm not on so often any more.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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