D's Daily Drama (fablespinner) wrote,
D's Daily Drama

Just Once I want GOOD NEWS from a Doctor.

Last Doctor Visit was to the allergist and you saw the host of things wrong there...
Before that was to the Endocrinologist for my Diabetes and we're STILL trying to get that under control after the steroids whacked me all out of control in the ICU.... I'm up to 320 Units a DAY of Insulin, that is a TRUCKLOAD of insulin and my numbers are still exceeding 200 sometimes.

However, My Latest Visit was to the Neurologist and all I can do is sigh and say FUCK.

My Neuropathy is no longer just in my elbows. My Feet and legs bilaterally have become severely affected. I can no longer sense Hot or cold, sharp or soft sensations. My feet feel like blocks of ice constantly (That's how I experience "numbness" as a feeling of "cold"). And the sharp shooting pains just make me want to cry most nights.

But oh no, it's not just my feet. Apparently I also have a nerve in my GROIN that has decided it too wants to be a prick and it is affecting my outer thighs. So they too are always numb.

The Dr. Bhupalam (My Neurologist) prescribed some heavy duty medication to try to alleviate the pain in my nerves so I can sleep. But I swear I am only taking this stuff if I am weeping from the pain because it's some serious shit and the side effects are so MANY they are frightening and they recommend I wear a medic alert braclet letting EMS workers know I'm on this crap. O_O

It's called Gabapentin and usually prescribed to epilepsy patients. It's prescribed as a pain reliever for Neuropathy because it frigging CHANGES THE WAY YOU FEEL PIAN IN YOUR BRAIN. So I'm still in pain, just my brain can't process the pain.

That's like lying to your own head.

I only took one pill and I did sleep, I needed it, but I'm reluctant to take another unless I just cannot stand the pain. This medication frankly scares me.

I am so SICK of being perpetually SICK!

I just want to NOT HURT all the time, I just want to not have to take fist fulls of pills, inhalers and nasal sprays and give myself insulin shots just to function.


I'd settle for 24 hours of bliss and no pain at this point.
Tags: illness

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