http://mybeautybars.com
(Offer applies only to US residents & Canada unless you want to pay international shipping for your freebie. <3 )
Thanks so very much!
I'm also about to launch the Lip Emollients, Body Butters, Facial Moisturizer and Body/Hand Lotion products I'm just waiting on my labels so I can test them on the bottles. :)
You'll be able to choose the scent of your butters and lotions to match your soap exactly so you won't have competing scents going on and the Lip Emollients will be available in 10 flavors:
Maraschino Cherry
Menthol
Bananas & Cream
Dreamsicle
Fruit & Yogurt
Honey Almond
Lemonade
Maple Crunch
Oatmeal Cookie
Sweet Berries
Comments
HOWEVER...
You can buy pre-made blocks of just basic glycerin at a craft shop and melt it in the microwave and add stuff to it, but that is a very expensive way to do it. I'd only do that if you just want to try it out, and say make something for your mom for mother's day... buy a soap making kit at the craft shop. :)
I think I've got 3 or 4 50% offs hanging out in my purse for 2/1-2/7 because I don't have anything to do with them. Just a thought. <3
Actually upon reading, I'm actually interested in some of it, having now been labeled a likely borderline diabetic thanks to Aidan (My newborn son...is he newborn still? he's 4 months lol), who decided to give me gestational diabetes u.u So yeah, having eczema all my life and if diabetes throws it's own problem into the mix then it's got my interest :)
I've just made a batch of Silk and Shea butter trial bars with coconut oil and cotton blossom fragrance (Nice and light not too flowery and smells "Clean"). Let me send you one of these, these and try it and see how it works and then I'll let you know when I have the packaging set for the facial moisturizer and for you instead of a lotion get a thicker body butter, you should start using moisturizer at least on your face every day and lotion (Especially on feet and elbows) 2-3 times a day or else you're gonna start looking like a crocodille in no time. :(
I'll have the butter and facial moisturizer ready to ship probably within the next 1-2 weeks.
But let me send you this soap tomorrow, what address do I send it to?
Edited at 2009-01-29 09:45 pm (UTC)
I just tripped over the wording while I was reading that part.
I've got these bars made up this afternoon.. which one would you like?:
Silk and Shea Butter, Cotton Blossom Fragrance, +Coconut Oil (pink colored)
Sweetened Honey, Honey & Almond Fragrance, + Apricot Kernal Oil (Honey colored)
Goats Milk, Tranquil Sleep Fragrance, + Evening Primrose Oil (Lavender Colored)
Oatmeal, Brown Sugar Fragance, + Olive Oil (mossy green color)
and what address do I send this to? xoxoxo
... and on that note...
I think I'd like the Goat's milk one. ^_^ You rock and I will be pimping your site to all my friends.
xoxoxo
:)
thanks!
1) You have how to order as going to the "Order link in the Navigation Menu to your right" and yet you have two links with which to order things from. Perhaps pluralizing the word "link" would be sufficient to remedy this?
2) "The presence of fatty acids and vitamins favor quick skin healing and sun protection. Shea butter contains cinnamic acid, which protects the skin against the harmful UV rays of the sun.
Shea butterIt has been known to work well against stretch marks. Shea butter, and it benefits those suffering dry skin, dermatitis and sunburn. Since shea butter is well tolerated by the skin, it usually does not trigger off any allergic reactions. This makes it ideal for use by persons with sensitive skin." What is in bold is where I found the problem, for me. There is a repetition of the words "Shea butter" at the beginning of three consecutive sentences. The strike throughs are the original, and the underlined is my suggestions.Now...
I've got these bars made up this afternoon.. which one would you like?:
Silk and Shea Butter, Cotton Blossom Fragrance, +Coconut Oil (pink colored)
Sweetened Honey, Honey & Almond Fragrance, + Apricot Kernal Oil (Honey colored)
Goats Milk, Tranquil Sleep Fragrance, + Evening Primrose Oil (Lavender Colored)
Oatmeal, Brown Sugar Fragance, + Olive Oil (mossy green color)
and what address do I send this to? xoxoxo
e-mail me @ fablespinner @ gmail.com
3) Your Shea Butter list begins jarringly. You might consider placing something before it along the lines of "Shea Butter is exceptional for the following uses:"
4) "...offers a healthy choice for the entire family and makes an excellent natural herbal facial cleanser without unhealthy chemicals." Perhaps you should consider using "offering" and "making" instead of "offers" and "makes". (Oatmeal portion)
5) "Light weight oil that is high in Vitamin A
rich, Oleic Acid and Linoleic Acid. " I recommend removing the striken word, as it makes no logical sense.6) In your Natural Primrose Oil, there should be a comma placed in the following sentence (comma bolded): "When applied to the skin, has moisturizing and softening effects."
7) "I am taking orders for Custom Bars and I will ship internationally. Cost of shipping will vary naturally depending on the size of your order..." Suggestion: remove the word "naturally". Or shift it to the start of the sentence.
8) "There is a no returns policy, each bar is crafted specifically for you and your needs, not to mention the health and sanitary reasons, I cannot accept your Beauty Bar back from you." Period after "Policy". Perhaps change "not to mention the" to "and due to". It would flow better and sound extremely professional.
9) Perhaps you should place quotes around the following, since you go from third person to first. "From my Kitchen, to your Shower and I hope my bars work for you as well as they worked for me.
Warmest Wishes for Great Health and Fabulous Skin!
Dana Armstrong"
1) Some of the images are two (or more)-toned. Do the finished products look this way? If so, or if not, you should mention that at the top of the page.
Original Footy(TM) Soap
1) "I am a diabetic and I suffer from extremely dry skin because of this, and foot care is essential for any diabetic and I began making this for myself and my mother (Who is also diabetic) years ago and then my friends and the rest of the family wanted my Footy™ Soap and my homemade skin care bars grew from this humble beginning." This is a run-on sentence.
Other Things
1) I attempted to register and did so with success, but there was an error message after I hit "Submit".
" * warning: mail() [function.mail]: Bad parameters to mail() function, mail not sent. in /home/content/d/a/n/danaarmstrong/html/i
* Unable to send e-mail. Please contact the site admin, if the problem persists."
These were the last of the problems I have found, thus far. There is a link under the "Add to Cart" buttons on your Order pages that is an Unauthorized area, but I was hoping to see if being a Registered User would allow me to see it. I will gladly let you know.
FRONT PAGE
I offer only the best skin care products, formulated just the way you like them.
this one is probably just nit-picking but i thought i'd throw it out there anyway. i see a LOT of online stores advertising things "just the way you like them" and they are usually not customized, but rather a store with a lot of variety. since this is the first thing people are reading when deciding if they want to buy from you, maybe stress the complete customization right up front. "formulated to your exact specifications" perhaps or "each of them individually tailored to fit your needs"
I make each My Beauty Bar™ personalized uniquely for you and your needs.
this one just seems a bit awkward. "I make each BLANK personalized for" doesn't flow right in my mind. i think "Each BLANK is personalized uniquely..." might sound better
Your skin is your armor against the world, take care of it, it’s the only skin you’ll ever have.
"world; take" or "world. Take"
To get started, read the About My Beauty Bars™ | FAQ page,
the "About" is not part of the link, and it should be.
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i got the following errors when i created an account:
* warning: mail() [function.mail]: Bad parameters to mail() function, mail not sent. in /home/content/d/a/n/danaarmstrong/html/i
* Unable to send e-mail. Please contact the site admin, if the problem persists.
it still let me create an account and log in, but you might want to figure out what's going on there anyway so it looks more polished.
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SOAP BASES - FAQ PAGE
1) All Natural Goats Milk and Coconut Oil - Great everyday cleansing agent and Hypo-Allergenic.
since you're talking about two things, the milk and the oil, "agent" should either be "agents" or just "soap"
Goat milk protein contains
everywhere else in the description you're calling it "goat's milk" and i think it should be consistent.
With its natural emollients, goat’s milk soap can relieve dryness and leave your skin feeling silky soft.
Your skin will love Goat’s Milk because all its goodies
if the second oat's milk is capitalized because it's the name of the soap, then there should be no apostrophe, and you should probably call it "Goat's Milk Soap" or "Goat's Milk and Coconut Oil"
2) Sweetened Honey - For Acne sufferers and a natural Humectrant and Anti-biotic.
"A natural Humectrant and Anti-Biotic. Great for Acne sufferers!"
combating disorders such as Acne
are you sure you want to call acne a disorder? i don't have it, so i'm not sure what it's commonly called, but it seems more like a challenge or something less... i don't know, honestly, i'm not even sure why the word bugs me. either way, there should be a period at the end of the sentence.
3) silk and shea butter
it usually does not trigger off any allergic reactions.
"trigger any" or "set off any" seem like they would both be a better fit.
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BASE OILS
Those essential Oils are:
"Available Essential Oils:" maybe? or "Essential Oil Options:"
1.) Jojoba Oil - Is actually not oil but rather an array of wax esters.
"not an oil"
3) sweet alnond oil
Adds moisturizing attributes.
this just confused me a little. maybe instead say "excellent moisturizer" or "helps skin to retain natural moisture" or something.
5.) Apricot Kernal Oil - Light weight oil that is high in Vitamin A rich, Oleic Acid and Linoleic Acid.
what is the comma after rich for?
FOOTY SOAP
I am a diabetic and I suffer from extremely dry skin because of this, and foot care is essential for any diabetic and I began making this for myself and my mother (Who is also diabetic) and then my friends and the rest of the family wanted my "Footy Soap" and my homemade skin care bars grew from this humble beginning.
super long sentence of doom. i would break it up like this:
I am a diabetic and I suffer from extremely dry skin because of this. Foot care is essential for any diabetic, so I began making this soap for myself and my mother, who is also diabetic, so that we could be sure we were getting a quality product. Soon my friends and the rest of the family wanted my "Footy Soap" and my homemade skin care bars grew from this humble beginning.
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SHIPPING
Cost of shipping will vary naturally depending on the size of your order...
"Cost of shipping will vary depending on the size of your order and destination address. Please email me for a shipping quote."
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RETURNS POLICY - is another run on sentence. suggestion:
There is a strict no returns policy. Each My Beauty Bar is handcrafted specifically for you and your needs. Due to the personalized nature of my products, as well as reasons of health and sanitation, I cannot accept your Beauty Bar back from you.
i know there were a few more things that i found on my first reading, but i don't want to flood you with them if these aren't the kind of changes you were talking about. let me know if you want me to keep going or not.
and I have more comments to make when I am not sleepy and I wanna read through all your suggestions again. But know you;re not too late for a freebie! :)
I have a few samples already made up for this, I'll surprise you with something nice what address do I send it to?
As for actually ordering? I do make them one at a time so they really ARE customized per person. I'm not just saying that... I'd have thousands of combinations otherwise and I am not stocking that many LOL!
xoxoxo
Dana
also, YAY! free D soap. i still remember those orange slice soaps you make me in the pringles can with the loofah in them. i loved that stuff, man. for serious.
Ophelia Marksfeld
PO Box 4757
Mission Viejo, CA 92690
or if you need a street address just let me know, but warn me when it's coming, because the kids who live next door steal my packages.
xoxoxo
Priority Mail so 3-5 Business days it will arrive.
<3