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The Attack of the Strange E-mail's again

What is it with me and getting the world's most oddball e-mails from fangirls?

Note... this comes in off my contact form so it's full og HTML symbols making it horrific to read in e-mail but will probably post normally in semagic since it likes code: Imagine this full of tags:

-----Original Message-----
From: gquilatan@sbcglobal.net [mailto:gquilatan@sbcglobal.net]
Sent: Wednesday, May 03, 2006 10:43 AM
To: fablespinner@fablespinner.com
Subject: Contact Form

Subject: read if you want to
Name: samantha
Email: gquilatan@sbcglobal.net
Comments: I know you must be really really busy but I just wanted some professional critique on an unfinished piece of mine. It's not long, trust me. Read it if you have the time. Thanks a billion! 
A fanfic based on Kingdom Hearts that will soon become yaoi. Still don't know what to title it yet. 
Chapter 1: The Dreams Begin 
The thundering roar of the ocean waves was what awoke me from my once peaceful sleep. I opened my eyes and found myself, not in the soft confines of my own bed, but on a beautiful ocean shore, complete with clear blue skies, a vast cerulean sea, and vivid green palm trees. My first impression was that this had to be a dream, a very beautiful and breathtaking dream that I did not ever want to leave. However, the sounds of the seagulls squawking overhead, the smell of ripe tropical fruit and the feel of the course sand beneath me told me that this was no dream and that I had,  in fact,  been mysteriously and magically transported to some deserted, tropical island and that I was going to meet a very handsome island boy and fall madly in love with him. Okay maybe the island boy thing is pushing it a bit, but still, this dream of mine didn’t feel like a dream at all but that it was very real, and the weirdest part of it all was that everything felt so familiar, like I had actually been here before. But have I? I thought to myself. The funny thing ws, I don’t remember having been to any island before, never even set foot on anything tropical and the thought of this being a memory of something from a past vacation trip was completely out of the question. The only thing coming even remotely close to this is an annual trip to the Indiana Dunes which I doubt has any palm trees dotting its pebbled beach. Well, if this wasn’t a dream and it wasn’t a memory this leaves only one possible conclusion: I am actually on an island and not at my aunt and uncle’s ranch home in Clarendon Hills, Illinois.  
“Toto, I’m not in Kansas anymore but I sure am loving it!” I said happily as I gazed in awe at my beautiful surroundings.  
The palm trees swayed joyfully with the breeze, waving their majestic leaves in the warm and salty air and the ocean waves lapped playfully along the sandy beach, beckoning me to come and swim in its cool watery depths. All in all, the whole scene seemed very inviting and I raced head long towards the welcoming sight, wanting very much to slip my feet into the cold and refreshing liquid until something else caught my attention. A boy, standing waist deep in the water and with his back towards me, was staring out at sea, completely oblivious to my presence. He looked young probably around my age, had a nice upper body build, very muscular, and the most peculiar thing was that he had shoulder length silver hair. Now, if I can only see his face.  I excitedly began to draw up countless greetings and what I might say so that I won’t look like a complete idiot when I finally catch his attention, yet my heart reached out to him, telling me that I too know this person and that I had to warn him. Warn him of what though? Am I going out of my mind? I just met this dude and here I am having some sort of déjà vu. Quite unexpectedly, I felt the waves beginning to recede and I looked down in confusion when I felt sand rather than water beneath my feet. It was then that I heard a loud noise coming from the sea and I looked up and saw a huge 15 foot wave coming up over the horizon and towards the beach! The first thought that came into my mind was that it was a tsunami and that I needed to get out of there quick or else drown. I swiftly turned around and was about to hightail it out of there when I noticed that the strange boy hadn’t followed me, and, when I looked back there he was, still in the water, as the dangerous wall of water approached him. I ran back towards him in an attempt to grab him out of the path of danger, all the while yelling out warnings at the top of my lungs to get his attention. It turned out that my voice did reach him, for as he turned around slowly, the most gorgeous and stunning sky blue eyes I have ever seen, met my deep hazel ones and a gloved hand reached out to me as if asking me to join him. I yelled out in horror when I noticed the waves coming closer and closer and I tried in vain to reach him. I felt my pace slow down considerably the nearer I got to him and I mustered up the last amount of strength I had in me to reach out to him when the huge wall suddenly crashed down on the beach, hitting me full force and knocking me off my feet. I struggled hopelessly against the swirling waters as I tried to find a way out of my dire predicament. As darkness began to surround me, thoughts of my friends and family entered my mind as I slowly began to fade: my aunt and uncle taking me on a boat ride on Lake Michigan, movies at our town’s AMC theater, shopping at the local mall and ogling at the cute guys there, hanging out at the corner ice cream store with my friends, homecoming, my mom and dad.  
Before the accident I thought.  Somehow contemplating this made me realize that this could be the end of my short life and that I was going to meet them much sooner than expected. Questions began hurling themselves at me, each one as unanswerable and as dismal as the next:  Who will take care of my aunt and uncle when I’m gone? Who will tell my friends what happened to me? Are they going to hold a funeral service for me? What kind of outfit are they going to put me in? As thoughts of impending doom filled my mind, my heart never stopped beating, as if it refused to give up and die in this forsaken place. I soon began to feel calm yet alert and fully aware of where I was, something someone who is about to die should not be feeling. This gave me added courage and strength and I felt warmth radiating from my heart that first started out as a small glow, only to build and build, gradually engulfing me in a bright white light until finally I landed on solid ground and the white light vanished. Out of the blue, I heard a voice call out to me, and before darkness came to claim me once again, two simple words entered my mind. “Well done.”  

As you can see... my contact form does not support long text html posts with breaks.
I can't read this without eye & brain meltdown so I am not going to attempt it.

I also don't accept unsolicited beta reading.
I'm not a beta reader, I'm horrible at it.

D. Sanders
"The Fablespinner"
Sakuranbo Studios


-----Original Message-----
From: animestarz@aol.com [mailto:animestarz@aol.com]
Sent: Thursday, May 04, 2006 1:58 AM
To: fablespinner@fablespinner.com
Subject: Contact Form

Subject: finder no Hyouteki
Name: zoe
Email: animestarz@aol.com
Comments: hi, um ur website is awesome!!  
and I was just wondering if you know any amazing fanfiction about finder no Hyouteki... 
My friends (alia, elise and a couple of others ^O^) and I have been dying for some... but we've only found three... 
if you haven't heard about this yaoi s'ok ^O^ 

First, The finder series is a US licensed manga now
second, I don't have a clue why you would think I'd read fanfiction about it or even know anything about it since
a.) There's not a single indication on my site I have any connection to Ayano Yamane's fandom following
b.) I haven't done anything "fandom" related in years

This is one of the strangest and out of context requests I've had ever.
Try Google.

D. Sanders
"The Fablespinner"
Sakuranbo Studios


Why do people do this?

So annoying.


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 5th, 2006 01:53 pm (UTC)
Because you're dreamy and everyone wants to have your babies!

*stalk stalk*
May. 5th, 2006 02:37 pm (UTC)
See! That is why I do not have any contact information on my site at all! Cuz of the toopid people!
May. 5th, 2006 05:16 pm (UTC)
Like I know you love Trigun and all, but Wolfwood really belongs with Vash. You guyz ur so awesome and so uber talented I just wish you'd realize that if you want to make the fans happy you need to give them what they want. What we want it Vash and Wolfwood.


When I start making Trigun-yaoi for profit, then I'll give two shits what you WxV wanks like.

Ok, your fics are great, they are so hot. My only problem is that you pair Bunji with Lee when all signs point to his chemistry with Brandon Heat. Brandon is the center of the show and you should write fics for him.
Sorry Bitchtard, Brandon is straight and Maria, his love, is a major part of his storyline. I don't slash just because I can.

The Crem-de la-douche...

Dear Kheelan, I'm so inspired by your work and think you're one of the true talents here at ygal. I have to say something and you may not like it. I think it's in your best interest to get away from Gynocrat. She spews so much hate and despite whatever talent many people say she has I think it pales in comparison to her nasty online behavior. I'm only writing this because I look up to you as a fellow artist, and I think she's using you to further her career. Don't let her use you.

May. 5th, 2006 10:22 pm (UTC)

People are morons.
May. 6th, 2006 12:59 am (UTC)
Oh yes, yes they are. Honestly, some of the emails are borderline psychotic.
May. 6th, 2006 01:02 am (UTC)

and I sit here and go... what is UP with people?
Take chill pills man!
May. 5th, 2006 06:31 pm (UTC)
Whoa... I skimmed that and even though I'm quite familiar with Kingdom Hearts fandom... If you hadn't told me that, I would not have known. There is no indication whatsoever that ...*that* is related to KH at all.

That second one is just weird.
May. 5th, 2006 06:55 pm (UTC)
Why do people do this?

So annoying.

It's annoying only for YOU! For the rest of us, it's purely entertaining! ;)
May. 5th, 2006 10:22 pm (UTC)


No teasing from the peanut gallery!

May. 5th, 2006 10:44 pm (UTC)
Hee! I got one recently from someone who says she has our missing TTDSDG chapters, and did I want them. To which of course I said YES PLEASE but then i never heard back from her. Alas.

Because seriously, we could eliminate an entire category of "where are the rest of the chapters" emails. *g*
May. 6th, 2006 01:01 am (UTC)
We could seriously take down all of the TTDSDG stuff and I'd not ever bat an eye about it.

It's 5 years old for goodness sakes and half gone and all we get anymore are the "You're missing chapters" e-mails anymore.

*rolls eyes*
May. 8th, 2006 08:21 pm (UTC)
...I'm not sure which chapters you guys are missing... but I think I have hard copies printed of most, if not all, of TTDSDG somewhere. I'd be more than happy to find them for you if you actually do want them.
May. 7th, 2006 03:11 pm (UTC)
Ha! You can't be surprised though, can you? I don't consider myself a fangirl, (A: because I'm not a girl and B: because I'm not fantatic) but after observing them, from a safe distance--behind police barricades or in a trench lined with razorwire, it's clear they all have two things in common--they're not too bright and they're loopey as all hell. If this were the 60's, I'd bet my ass they'd be part of the Manson girls.
May. 15th, 2006 10:21 pm (UTC)
That is an insult! I resemble that remark! How dare you impugn my honour as a fangirl!

Silliness aside, yes, some fanpeoples are just... really really stupid. The poor things, to be cursed with such stupidity... and tackyness. Pity their poor, stupid, deluded selves, and their horrible horrible education system, which teaches them bad grammar and bad attitutes. Because the worst ones are the ones that spell things like "leik, OMG, 3l33t" and type numbers under 100 as numerals instead of text, and mispell the most common of words, such as "then" and "than" and "their" and "they're".

And, umm... who're the Manson girls? *OO*
May. 16th, 2006 12:01 am (UTC)
Ok, well you know who Charles Manson is right? Well, instead of killing people himself, he convinced loney, not too bright girls to do it for him. Basically: fangirls, in a way, are not unlike cult members. But don't reply to this. This is no place for LJ nonsense.
May. 16th, 2006 04:02 am (UTC)
talk away I don't mind, I'm amused!

And DUDE! I love your icon!
I <3 Bea Arthur!
May. 16th, 2006 04:45 am (UTC)
oh ok, good, because I wasn't sure if you wanted chattering on your LJ.

and YES! Bea Arthur is a goddess. Did you see her on Pam Anderson's roast? There's absolutely nothing better than Bea talking about handjobs and anal sex. (she was reading from Pam's book, a section where the protagonist is talking to her token gay friend about anal sex and his advice is, "They like it when you clench your butt, like your trying to hold in a fart." Bea manages to say it with such grace that it's hysterical).
May. 16th, 2006 04:56 am (UTC)
I watched her in Maude and the Golden Girls and when I grow up I wanna be a snarky bitch just like her!

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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