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Rules of the Road

Dear Driver of the Brand New Mustang,

That lane leading to the freeway otherwise known as an ON RAMP, has another more technically accurate name often found in a sixteen-year-old driver's education manual. It is called an ACCELERATION LANE. This means, oh driver of little intelligence, that you are supposed to push down that little skinny pedal to the far right, often called the GAS PEDAL but also has a technically more appropriate name, the ACCLERATION PEDAL. See the fantastic correlation here?

Now then, since you obviously skipped your driver's ed class that explained these two things, let me give you a crash course.

When turning onto the acceleration lane, you are supposed to push down on the acceleration pedal and accelerate to the speed of the other cars already on the freeway. By the end of the lane you should be within 5 miles of your target speed so you may join traffic and not cause back-ups, accidents, etc...

This lane is not for you to meander down, mosey along or take a stroll to look at the dead flowers on the side of the road.

When you do this, every car behind you is swearing at you to speed up.

The cars on the freeway have to swerve around you to avoid colliding with your brand new mustang.

You fucking retard.

If you are that afraid of your new vehicle which is quite capable of obtaining 60MPH in a matter of seconds, then perhaps you should not OWN ONE.

The only vehicles allowed to be slow ass mother fuckers on freeway on-ramps are semi-trucks. They are already pushing pedal to metal, they just can't accelerate quickly.

You, brand new mustang need to stick to surface streets since the concept of freeway rules elude you.

Thank you,
The Driver of the Sephia behind you who could have beat your ass in a drag race with the way you Drive.


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 20th, 2006 02:36 am (UTC)
I love your rants!

And I know that situation just too well...Frustrating!

Thank you for making me laugh about it - until the next turtle on wheels decides to drive in front of my car THE WHOLE WAY HOME! ;)

I really like your sense of humour! :)
Feb. 20th, 2006 02:44 am (UTC)
But my worst pet peeve of them all?

The girls who have their rear view mirror pointing at THEM and not the rear of their car.

Sweetheart, that is NOT a vanity mirror, that is a mirror where you can see me behind you flipping you off for being a vain little bitch!

Put your fucking make-up on BEFORE YOU GO TO WORK, or if you are running late. Go clock in, go to the bathroom AFTER YOU GET THERE. Or Shock, maybe give your skin a break for a day and not apply any?

Stupid concept I know.

The ones who really get my goat, after they apply said make-up they LEAVE THE MIRROR on themselves so they can check themselves out all the way to work.

It makes me want to honk my horn while they have the mascara wand at their eye so they fucking poke themselves for being vain little divas.


(Can you tell I never wear make-up to work, I think it's horrible for your skin in the first place. I only put on make-up if I'm going to have my photo taken. Period. I only use UV protection SPF moisturizer daily. I'm a big, big fan of natural beauty without cosmetics and healthy skin. If your skin is healthy you DON'T NEED MAKE UP!)
Feb. 20th, 2006 03:58 am (UTC)
So true. :)

I don't understand that kind of behaviour, either. I'd be scared to death! To be able to see all this crazy people on the road gives me a nice illusion of security.

And I'm sick and tired of seeing girls and young women with make-up on their faces that looks like plaster. Someone should tell them that they don't need stage-make-up just to leave the house. They remind me of Bette Davies in "What really happened to Baby Jane". ;)
Feb. 20th, 2006 03:58 am (UTC)
Well, really makeup can be perfectly healthy, just not the cheap drugstore crap, and it helps even out your skin tone even if your skin is perfectly healthy. ;)

...I'm a fan of makeup. But then, I don't see why you'd put it on while driving. You're likely to poke an eye out, if by some miracle you don't mess it up.
Feb. 20th, 2006 04:46 pm (UTC)
Yes, naturally if even healthy you have uneven tone, then a nice UV powder or foundation or even tinted moisterizer is goo. I'm talking these girls and WARPAINT.

I think people are so much prettier au natural, but that's me.
Feb. 20th, 2006 06:00 pm (UTC)
Yeah, most of it is in how it's applied. I think I look better with makeup (which is not to say I won't leave the house without it, or anything, because I woke up late and am not wearing any now...) but a bit of makeup to even the skin tone and something to accent your eyes? Winner. (I love that part of What Not to Wear best. *g*) But I TOTALLY know the ones you mean...where you see the makeup instead of their face!
Feb. 20th, 2006 03:57 am (UTC)
...in a MUSTANG??


You are making your car cry! It is ashamed to be seen with you!
Feb. 20th, 2006 04:16 am (UTC)
I'd be happy if they'd just acknowledge the yield signs at the end of our on ramps.

Excuse me, dumbass, but seen as how I'm already on the highway, I have the right of way, even if I am in the right hand lane. Please do not play chicken with me.
Feb. 20th, 2006 04:07 pm (UTC)
I hate people like that too. I have my permite and I am working on my licence. Sometimes im that person like in town areas becuase im new at driving and im afraid im going to crash.LOL. However on roads like that im more afraid of running into the person in front of me. XD. I have a small lead foot so it hard to keep speed. Love ya.
Feb. 20th, 2006 10:52 pm (UTC)
Assholes. I especially love the idiots that slam on their breaks in the deceleration lane just waiting to cause accidents. And some people have excuses. In certain areas of Pennsylvania (here on the East Coast), there aren't any acceleration or deceleration lanes so they just have to either floor it to get on a highway or stand on their brakes when getting off. Unfortunately, they forget that when driving through NJ, they will get their asses ran over for doing that.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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