Preface of tonight... I have a cousin named Mike, he's technically my father's cousin, my second cousin.
Now Mike is pretty famous really as a studio musician, he's played with just about everybody. I won't name drop, but yeah, big names.
However as much as I love Mike... Mike's biggest flaw?
Taking on bizarre projects.
One of his bizarre projects decided to call me tonight, because said project is putting together a music video and he asked Mike if Mike knew an "Artist" that could put together a story board.
If Mike ever offers up my services again without calling me first I'll murder him!
I just spent 3 bloody hours sitting at my kitchen table wanting to spork my eyes out.
This was the most god awful song I've ever heard in my life, some no name wannabe Mike met in Guitar center and took pity on and brought into his studio.
The Lyrics were God Awful Cheesy Poetry about 9-11 (Yes, 9-11), it was like Bad Christian Rock (I mean really BAD BAD BAD Cheese-factor warp 10, mozzerlla stick buring the top of your mouth bad cheese factor), I had three sheets of lyrics and Mike's arrangement on a CD to "inspire me".
Honey if you lit the lyrics on fire and shoved them up my ASS it wouldn't inspire me to jump in a puddle let alone map out a "Straight to DVD" music video for a song not even recorded properly yet.
But I sat there for three hours, pulling a rabbit out of my hat, and sent a very happy man out into the night.
I totally dodged a bullet and convinced him to do a photo montage rather than a live action P.O.S. (Hence I just wrote out a script rather than have to DRAW a story board.)
I swear next time Mike comes to visit, I'm planting my foot up his ass! I don't work for free damn it, and when you put me on the spot like that with a phone call at 6Pm just as I am leaving work to tell me this guy JUST flew into Fresno to see me and is already on the FREEWAY to my House?
WTF am I supposed to say? No?
I guess Mike tried to call me This morning, but I was already at work. Still that's not a lot of notice.
And I didn't have the heart to charge this guy. (Really the script I gave him I pulled out of my ass first draft shit. It's crap, just like the song it's going to accompany.)
Jeff (Mr. Bad Musician Dude.) made sure to tell me I'd be in the credits. I wanted to tell him not to put my name anywhere on that P.O.S. But I just smiled and shoved him out my door.
Mike is a Dead Man, Family or not.
Off to surf the web now....