D's Daily Drama (fablespinner) wrote,
D's Daily Drama

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Desparatus Desiderium -- Part VII

You know the drill -- I'm posting unproofread drivel as I write it...

“Desparatus Desiderium”
(Desperate Longing)
T  H  E    I  N  F  I  N  I  T  Y    S  E  R  I  E S
* III *
Author: D. Sanders

The Rest of this un-proofread BS can be Found here:

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI


“We’d best be very careful. You have a knack of hitting my chamber Xan. As much as I would desire it, it is unwise for us right now, and I am known not to think clearly when I am in season, but I told you this already.”

“I know. I have already taken precautions. I made circa tea this morning and drank it all. I will not be fertile once it takes effect. It takes about eight hours; we need to abstain a little longer yet. It’s why I slept out here, I need to be shooting blanks first, I knew this would happen.”

“You are most wise My Xan and thank you. Circa tea tastes awful.”

“I know, but it works.” Xan chuckled as Kivi sat up to face him, his eyes still shimmering like stars. He had settled into his powers even better than Xan had anticipated.

“Are you as hungry as I?”

“Yes. Famished. We worked hard we should eat or we will be suffering headaches later.” Xan said standing and taking Kivi’s hand they went to prepare the mid-day meal together.


Kivi fidgeted in his chair as they ate and his eyes were glassy. Xan watched him amused and picking up very strong sweet aromas emanating from him. When Kivi had said he became highly aroused when in season he meant it. Xan stood and walked around the table to offer his hand to his mate. “Come, I can not wait longer and nor can you.”

Kivi was out of his chair so quickly he almost knocked Xan over as he leapt into Xan’s arms his lips firmly devouring Xan’s as Xan lifted him and carried him into their bedroom. “Xan I am on fire.” Kivi panted in between fierce kisses.

“I know. I’m am blinded by it.” Xan replied in kind ripping off Kivi’s robe as he laid Kivi in bed and tore his own robe off, his eyes beginning to glow.

Their eyes met and Kivi’s eyes returned the fire and need. Xan focused on those eyes that held him firmly in control. Xan felt the madness churning but his senses were totally aware. Once Kivi had opened up to his gifts and they meshed as one, Xan was finding it much easier to stay in control and fight the blind lust. Kivi’s instinctual healing instincts mixed with Xan’s precise and powerful control were a potent combination; the madness would never take Xan again to the point of disassociation from his mind. He was still highly lustful and aroused, but clear minded.

He smiled as he trailed hot kisses down Kivi’s pouch. Soft smooth skin from chest to groin. The skin on his pouch taught and firm and Xan ran his hands over the soft skin. “I live to see this full.” Xan growled sliding his hand inside to touch the warmth beneath and touch the hidden nipples with his fingertips. Kivi’s head was thrown back and he was moaning his pleasure as Xan touched him most intimately.

Kivi was lost in sensation, he’d never been touched where Xan’s hands now caressed, his skin burned beneath those fingers. “Xan, please.” Kivi moaned deeply, his desire to mate was driving him mad with need. Xan removed his hand and crawled atop Kivi, capturing his lips as he entered Kivi smoothly. Kivi’s scent alone was enough to fuel Xan’s drive. He’d never been near another in season that smelled as fragrant as Kivi. It was like mating in a bed of roses, Kivi’s oil glands produced an intoxicating aroma and the oil market would have paid a fortune to harvest Kivi’s for sale. It was a potent aphrodisiac on Sansun; Kivi’s secretions were pure and volatile in potency. Xan was driven and almost possessive over this gift of the gods in his bed. Kivi was everything and more he’d ever desired. He would never let this man go and he’d never let harm come to this gentle creature.

“I am yours my Xan-ki. Always.” Kivi panted placing his hands on either side of Xan’s face as Xan drove their mating tempo.

“I will protect you, I love you Kivi-ki.” Xan moaned, almost in tears as he gasped for air in the nape of Kivi’s neck as they mated. Kivi shivered and wrapped his arms around Xan as they crashed together and Xan shifted slightly to once more connected to Kivi and his chamber.

All coherent thought was obliterated and Kivi writhed and moaned in sheer ecstasy. Xan’s ability to mate with him and connect repeatedly to his chamber was un-heard of, it was as if Xan instinctively knew and purposefully set out to ensure his mate was his and no other would claim possession of the chamber of his chosen Hopa host. Xan had already shown his desire for a son from Kivi, it was obvious his body craved it and found the means to achieve his desires.

Once Xan found Kivi’s chamber, their mating frenzy quickly brought intense completion. It was within minutes of finding such a sensitive place, and it was highly pleasurable for them both. The sheer blinding intensity of mating when they were both in season quickly took its toll and they had barely slowed their breathing before sleep heavy and deep was upon them both.

Kivi awoke much later as they lay spent in bed. Xan was passed out cold from exertion and Kivi ran a cool hand over Xan’s luxurious hair. He was grateful that Xan had taken measures to ensure Kivi was not going to pass a pearl from their lovemaking and seasonal madness. “Xan-ki. One day I will give you a son. I vow, I swear on the Gods who dictate our lives. I will host you a son if I am able.” Kivi whispered. And Xan smiled and reached up to pull Kivi close.

“I know Ki. I know. I can be patient. Sleep with me, I want you close.” Xan said groggily waking just long enough to seek his mate’s comfort and Kivi complied letting Xan wrap his body around him to sleep.

Kivi had never felt more content or safe in his life and drifted back to sleep with a prayer of gratitude to the Gods. Love like they shared was rare and it was a precious gift that Kivi would thank the Gods for as long as he lived.


“What are you reading?” Beau asked as he crawled into bed next to Eran who was reading one of the scrolls they’d retrieved from Dantoba the day before.

“Ancient History. I’ve read this before but I find this one particularly fascinating. It’s very old.”

“So tell me a story.” Beau said fluffing his pillow and settling back. Eran smiled at him and set the scroll aside.

“It’s basically an accounting of the mutation. The Sansui used to be both male and female. About ten thousand years ago a comet slammed into Sansun nearly wiping out the entire population. The radiation fallout mutated the survivors. They became a single gendered race in an evolutionary cesspool. Most didn’t survive the mutation process, many became sterile, many more committed suicide or became mad. Because not only had their bodies changed, the mutation also awakened their psychic abilities and many could not handle the heightened awareness.” Eran began and Beau got comfortable to listen. Eran always did tell fascinating stories when he was interested in the subject matter.

“This particular scroll is about a man named Ameretat. He’s commonly referred to as First-Hopa. He’s a legend and damn near a God to that society. He was the first to bear a living child and to master his psychic abilities. He and his life mate Jamari rebuilt Sansun from the ground up really. Jamari was a political genius and his leadership was key in forming the foundation of their society. Ameretat had amazing healing abilities and when he wasn’t hosting one of Jamari’s seven sons, he was teaching the Sansui how to harness their gifts and how to use them. He was also the first Mind-Healer as they call that type of gift today. Mind-Healers are highly respected, because it’s all well and good to be able to make shit fly around a room, but a Mind Healer can repair a brain that was wounded by talents. Mind-Healers are exceedingly rare and any healer can draw a direct lineage back to Ameretat Indivar apparently. At least that’s what this scroll says in a nutshell.” Eran said getting up to put the scroll away safely and returning to bed.

“What happened to Jamari?” Beau asked as Eran pulled the cover up over them both.

“He died of grief they say. Ameretat was older than Jamari and having seven children and spending many years using his gifts took their toll on him. He gave of himself right up until the end. They say on his deathbed Ameretat vowed to “return to heal a great wound”. Jamari found no comfort in that and he died not long after Ameretat leaving their sons to form the seven-seat judiciary counsel that still rules Sansun today. Xartova Indivar is a direct descendant of Jamari Indivar and an Indivar has sat in the first chair as counsel leader since it’s creation.”

“If history tells us anything, power corrupts.”

“It does, I’m positive Jamari and Ameretat are spinning in their graves with the shit their descendants have done over the years.” Eran sighed switching off the light as Beau snuggled up to his side for warmth.

“You seem hopeful about this Xantarun.”

“I know Xartova. Arrogant bastard. Devapa was a good friend; it was a political match that he was bound to Xartova. But he had fire, and he started the Sansui society right under that bastard’s nose. His first two son’s Xartobin and Xedapa are just like their sire. Devapa was allowed very little contact with his first two children after they emerged. He begged to be allowed to raise the last one and he was granted his whim just so he’d leave Xartova alone. I met Xan when he was just a toddler. He was probably about two or three. Looked like his Sipa facially but had Devapa’s coloring. Nice enough I suppose, it’s hard to tell with babies what they’ll turn into. You three were staying with Indira. I went to actually pick up that scroll I was reading from Devapa that afternoon.” Eran chuckled remembering Devapa fondly; he had been a good friend.

“I remember that. Kadala wasn’t even hosting Kivi yet.”

“Yes, Xan’s probably three or four years older than Kivi. Give or take.” Eran said through a yawn.

“I wonder how Kivi is.”

“You don’t want to think about it Beau love. He’s probably the property of some Prima by now. He’s must be nineteen or twenty now. At fourteen they go into servitude, whether or not they like it. Indira’s probably beside himself with grief, he can’t even acknowledge Kivi is his son.”

“I know. I hope Kivi is well regardless for Indira and Kadala’s sakes. They love him so much.”

“Every parent loves their children, let’s hope we can help make it so Indira can claim his son in public. That’s all Indira has ever wanted from the Society.”

“True. I don’t know how much help we’ll actually be, but we can at least try. It’s a good cause.”

“Very good. Slavery is the one thing I will fight against without argument. I remember all too well believing you were a slave to a Tsion. I have a personal bias there.”

“As do I. I was a slave for fifty years. Let’s not relive those memories Eran. These past thirty years have done much to purge our time apart. I love you more today than I did then.” Beau said leaning over to kiss Eran tenderly. Eran’s arms wrapped around his husband and he held him close.

“Beau, you’re my soul, you know that I hope.”

“I do Eran. I love you, you big soft sod.” Beau said reaching over to pull Eran’s shirt off over his head.

“In the mood?” Eran chuckled as Beau undressed him.

“Oh yes. Can’t you tell by now? How many years does it take for you to clue in when I’m in the mood?” Beau chuckled as Eran rolled over atop him.

“Give me a few hundred more, I might develop psychic abilities by then.” Eran grinned as he divested Beau of his own garments and they made love late into the night.


Indira was at the spaceport waiting to welcome the Infinity as it docked. “Welcome my friends.” He cheered as he held open his arms to embrace his friends as they disembarked. “Where is fair Tovi?” He asked as He kissed both of Cris’ cheeks in welcome.

“She’s back home on Pirotaine, she’s expecting my grandson or granddaughter in a about six months.” Cris said smiling and Indira brightened.

“Children grow so quickly do they not?” Indira said with a knowing look as he greeted Val in the same manner as the others.

“They sure do.” Val answered as he carried a satchel on his back that looked like luggage but contained precious documents. Eran’s duffle was equally heavy with contraband. They’d learned if they made it look like they were just coming for a friendly visit, no one batted an eye at harmless human travelers.

“Come Kadala is waiting in our transport, we will take you straight to where you will be staying. During your visit.” Indira winked and everyone followed laughing and looking innocent.

Once inside the transport Kadala greeted them all in a similar fashion. When he got to Brion he smiled. “You remind me of my son. Does he not resemble Kivi Indira?”

“A little yes. I noticed that too.” Indira smiled as he piloted them back to the university.

“How is Kivi?” Cris asked and Kadala smiled.

“He is most well. You will see him when we get to the University. You will be staying with him.”

“I thought we were staying with Xantarun?” Eran asked and Kadala turned a proud smile toward Eran.

“Yes you are. Xan has taken my pearl as his life mate. I could not have prayed for a better union for my son. There has been many changes since last you were here. Kivi has much changed for the better. I find it hard to comprehend that my body was host to such an event.”

“Whoa, what? What do you mean?” Eran asked highly intrigued.

“You have read all the documents I presume Eran?” Indira asked and Eran nodded.

“My Kivi is touched by the gods. Ameretat shines in him.”

“You mean the Ameretat?”

“Yes Eran. Xan opened Kivi’s gifts and the results had us all on our knees in shock. Kivi has hidden talents none of us, not even Kivi were aware of. He has Ameretat’s eyes, there is no mistake, and no one has borne his eyes in centuries. I am most proud that my son was chosen to be Ameretat’s vessel.”

“Even if our son rejects our views as romantic and prophetic madness.” Kadala chuckled. Kivi was always the skeptic.

“I’d not want to be labeled as a reborn savior either, I can see where he’s coming from.” Cris said and Kadala nodded.

“You understand my son’s way of thinking well.” Kadala said as they landed in a shuttle bay at the university and traveled up to greet Kivi and Xan and start.

Xan greeted them at the door and everyone hurried inside. Kivi walked out from the bedroom dressed in a long white silk robe with blue trim. The low neck revealed a stunning teardrop sapphire and diamond pendant resting on his collarbone and his hair was adorned with small diamond clips. He looked regal and stunning, and his eyes shimmered with otherworldly light. Everyone paused to drink in the sight. Xan walked over and took his mate’s hand and kissed the back of it. “We welcome you to our home. I am Xan and I believe you already have met my mate Kivi.”

“Wow. What happened to our little Kivi?” Beau asked walking over to hug the youth.

“I have grown. I am most pleased to see you all again. I have fond memories of you all.” Kivi said returning Beau’s embrace.

“Same here. I can tell you I’m glad to see you looking like this and not like I remember.” Val said taking his turn to shake off the shock and hug the child he remembered from years before.

“I humor my Xan. It is why I hide from the door when it is open. I am still Ounta, but Xan prefers me dressed like this. He spoils me.”

“You are beautiful and I retain the right to spoil my mate as I see fit.” Xan said as everyone moved into the living area. Earn smiled knowingly, he knew exactly how Xan felt. He tended to spoil his husband ‘just because’ too.

“Kivi if you walked out that door, not a single person would think you an Ounta. Hell if all the Ounta’s dressed up and walked out, you couldn’t tell them apart. I can only tell the difference because of the clothes.” Cris said and Xan turned.

“Precisely. I keep telling my Kivi that and he refuses to believe me.”

“Xan I can’t walk out that door anyway without setting off a dozen alarms. I am tagged.”

“Tagged?” Cris asked and Kivi sat on the sofa and rested his bare and rather small for his size foot on the coffee table, an electronic device attached to his ankle.

“I cannot take that horrid thing off. I’ve tried. There is no clasp control. If I separate it, the alarm will sound.” Xan cursed angrily and Cris smirked and went into the kitchen and found a blunt knife.

“Dude, allow me. These are a piece of cake.” Cris said leaning over the anklet and sliding the knife between the sensors keeping the electronic current connected. He kept the current flowing as he undid the clasp and slid it over Kivi’s foot then reconnected it without breaking current then tossed it aside. “There, just stick that somewhere and they’ll never know the difference. Monitors will think he’s still cooped up in here.”

“You’ve done that before.” Xan said amazed at how easy Cris made it look.

“I used to be thug. You learn handy things on the wrong side of the law.” Cris winked and Kivi leaned over to hug him.

“Thank you Cris. I am most grateful.”

“As am I. You have my gratitude as well.” Xan extended his hand and Cris just slapped it off jovially.

“Not a problem. I love this kid too. My daughter wanted to smuggle him off planet the last time we were here. I was going to let her do it.” Cris said and Kivi brightened.

“Tovi! I remember her. I played with her many times. Is she here?”

“Nope. Tovi’s married and off about to give me a grandchild. She’s on Pirotaine.”

“A Grandchild? You are surely not older than I.” Xan said wide-eyed and Kivi chuckled. The others decided to let Xan in on their secret.


“We are.”

“I need to be seated.” Xan said sitting next to Kivi amazed and speechless.

“Think how we felt when we found out?” Val chuckled as Eran moved to the window.

“Not to change the subject. But this location is not appropriate for the type of work you plan on doing. Way too easy to get into and spy on. I would like to make a suggestion before we start talking about the matters at hand. We move. I’m sorry, I’ve spent too many years in wars, this room is not secure in the slightest.” Eran said checking out the buildings and windows. “There is a telescope focused on this room from the building across the street.”

“I am gossip fodder I know. It is why the curtains are drawn.” Xan said and Eran turned.

“You are high profile and you just have taken ill. You need rest in the country immediately for your health. You need to step out of the public eye first and foremost.” Eran said and Xan nodded, he like a man who got right to business.

“My Hopa had a retreat in the country that has been closed since his passing. We can go there.” Xan stood to walk over to Eran by the window.

“Make arrangements, I can secure a manner for you. Indira I’d like for you to contact the society. Get men that can drop everything to help staff that manner. I don’t want anyone in that manner not part of the society, we’ll need a secure network.”

“Consider it done.” Indira said as Kadala came over to hold his son’s hand.

“Indira, Kadala we’ll need you here to monitor all the gossip, we can use that to our advantage. Kivi, you are, if anyone asks, a Prima from the country.”

“I cannot lie!”

“I’m not asking you to announce this to the public, I’m saying lie if asked. I don’t think anyone is even going to bother, looking at you even a human can see you’re gifted, they won’t even question you, you’re going to get used to leading by example. Your goal is freedom, people are more apt to follow you by actions not words.”

“He is right Ki.”

“I won’t protest. I will go along I can see the logic.” Kivi said as Eran leaned against the wall and scratched his chin.

“Xan, how’s your public speaking?” Eran asked

“Good. I come from a political family after all.”

“Because eventually you’re going to have to announce your intentions and union with Kivi. That’s a bit down the road yet, but I’m thinking in the long term. Propaganda and visuals get attention and eventually you’re going to want a lot of it, just not now. Right now until we get up to speed on what we want to accomplish you’re going into hiding. You’re going to meet and fall in love with your caretaker and make a union him. Perfect set up and excuse. You do not want the masses to know Kivi was your university Ounta. Bad romantic incentive, people respond to the outrageous and romantic. We want him recognized as a mind-healer not a servant. We want him respected before the bomb drops he was born Ounta.”

“You have a devious mind, but it is a good plan. I’ll make arrangements immediately.”

“My head is swimming.” Kivi sighed and Xan walked over and took his hand.

“As is mine, but we knew once they got here we would begin in earnest. I am off to make calls. Sipa-ka will you aid me? The retreat has been unused for years, it will need to be prepared and you have the contacts.”

“I’m already on it.” Indira said following Xan into his small office to make the calls they needed leaving the others to sit in silence as Eran followed Indira and Xan into the office.

“Eran certainly doesn’t fuck about. Beau he’s been making notes hasn’t he?” Cris asked with a grin. Knowing full well the answer.

“For days. He’s had those scrolls out and studying since we picked them up. Slavery is a sore spot with him, he wants to end here badly.”

“Was he a slave?” Kivi asked and Beau shook his head.

“No. I was for fifty years. During the Tsionic wars I was taken to the prison camps while Eran fought them on the outside. Our entire homeland was almost destroyed by the Tsions. He has a personal bias against any form of slavery.” Beau said and Kivi took Beau’s hand.

“You have a deep wound. I feel your heart ache. I can see your memory I wish I could give you comfort.” Kivi said as his eyes shifted hue and Beau was almost hypnotized by them.

“Kivi, time heals my wounds. I have Eran and I have Cris and Val. I survived and I will heal in time. It gets easier. Don’t you worry about me, Memories are just that, memories.”

“You are wise and kind. I look forward to working with you and becoming better friends. My memories are from my childhood, I see you with different eyes now.”

“That’s what happens when you grow up. And I need to remind Eran to make a call to Romi. We want her off planet.”

“Romi, the vocalist? She is most amazing.” Kivi said, he had a recording of her voice; he was quite a fan of the human female.

“She’s Brion’s mom.” Beau winked indicating Brion who was sitting off to the side quietly.

“Your Mother?” Kivi asked and Brion nodded.

“Yeah, I’m not sticking around I’m afraid. Unlike my Uncles, I’m not immortal and I’m taking my mom home. I’d love to help, but I gotta take care of her first.”

“As you should. We would not have you stay with so much at stake that is not your doing or concern. Your Mother is your concern.” Kadala said as Beau went to go remind Eran to make the call to Romi.


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