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Maybe not so sage advice...

But life as I see it... What I have learned.

Life is not easy, we cannot place blame on things that happen to us on anyone else but ourselves.

WHY?

Because things, and I'm not talking material things, like cars and houses and the like. Sometimes we DO lose those things like in a car accident and it is someone else's fault.

I'm talking emotional baggage of the mundane sort. Yes, there are cases of abuse out there etc... I'm talking relationships of the everyday variety.

Friends and Romantic relationships in general take two people. And if things go WRONG it's very easy to step back and say "It's ALL YOUR FAULT I'M LIKE THIS!"

No, it's not. Two went in, Two are responsible for the fallout.

You are accountable for your own actions and reactions. You cannot blame all your neurosis on another person that's way too easy, you ALLOWED YOURSELF to:

1.) Be Cowed
2.) Get Angry
3.) HIDE from reality
4.) Etc...

then to turn around and say it's 100% the other person's fault?

Not true. They may have been a catalyst but YOU are ultimately responsible for how you handle the situation afterwards.

YOU CHOOSE TO LINGER OR LET GO
YOU CHOOSE TO BE POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE
YOU CHOOSE TO MOVE ON OR TO STAY
YOU CHOOSE HOW TO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE

When the relationship or friendship ends, YOU are responsible for YOURSELF.

If you live in the past, that is no ones fault but your own.

That's brutal truth, and may not be true in ALL CASES, but in my limited experience, that's the way I see it.

I CHOOSE TO LIVE
I CHOOSE TO SUCCEED
I CHOOSE TO BE GOOD TO ME AND MY PSYCHE
I CHOOSE TO BE FREE
I CHOOSE TO WALK A PATH OF MY OWN MAKING
I AM A WINNER

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
jackals_bitch
Jul. 26th, 2004 04:57 am (UTC)
If you ever become a therapist, I'm recommending my Mother and all my friends to you.
babspace
Jul. 26th, 2004 05:20 am (UTC)
Yay!
windtear
Jul. 26th, 2004 06:29 am (UTC)
That's the truth! It's hard but we have to recognise that and cope.

Speaking solely for myself... there is a difference between recognising the need and actually doing it. People trying to cope really do need to be told they can. I couldn't hang on until someone told me I they were proud of me for hanging on.

(Give him a hug from me, please?)
mmariep2
Jul. 26th, 2004 06:46 am (UTC)
right on!

^_^
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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