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March 15th, 2007

ATTENTION EVERYONE: NAME CHANGE!

No not my screen name... fablespinner is more permanent than my REAL NAME! LOL

That is what is changing however!

I have finally gotten off my fat lazy ass and schlepped my carcass down to YE OLDE DMV, The Superior court House and SSN is pending....
Tomorrow is the BANK and the Credit Cards and Loans...
GUH, this is the LAST TIME I DO THIS. Even if (By some remote chance I ever go crazy in the head and marry again... I am KEEPING MY MAIDEN NAME!)

So everyone, update your address books and Cross out "Sanders" I have shed it like a bad boil being lanced off my BUTT!

I have gone back to my Maiden Name: Dana J. BISTROW

So if you send anything to me, that's the name to use now peeps!

xoxoxo

(And I tell ya, when you do a Google search of my last name, my second cousin Van Bistrow DOMINATES Google. (Yes, Vangel Bistrow was my Great Uncle and he is named after his father... the same name I used in Following Tides.)

I am intelligent and he makes me feel like an absolute RETARD. You'll find 800 thesis reports on Quantum Physics; he's the Director of Physics at the University of Chicago.... Guh, brainiac.

He was also one hell of a Cellist too with the Univ. of Chicago Symphony.
His wife was a violinist and both their children are the same. I just found Doug on MySpace and he's an alternative Bass player now.

The internet sure does make the world seem small!

But I am off topic... OMG what a hellish day, you'd think it would be fairly Easy to RETURN to a name you were born with after a divorce....

WRONG!

I walk into Social Security office first this morning with what I thought were ALL my divorce papers (All the Lawyer sent me 5 years ago at least), a copy of my Birth Certificate and a jaunty little step...

I get up to the window and find out
#1.) For females you have to PETITION THE COURT to return to your MAIDEN NAME. You only have to show a marriage certificate to change it after marriage, but to go back to your ORIGINAL NAME, you have to fucking beg the court! NEWS TO ME!
#2.) I do not have my FINAL divorce decree, only all the other paperwork leading up to that last piece of paper... FUCK
#3.) She didn't care I had my BIRTH CERT, no good without a petition...
#4.) Call my lawyer; he does not have my paperwork anymore so I have to go get it from the court...

So I am no longer in a good mood and Drive straight to the Superior Courthouse... spend 45 minutes just trying to find a place to PARK
Go up to the Clerks office and the nice man at the window says... Go have them pull your case file and get a copy of the divorce decree, if your lawyer checked the "Return Name" box you're fine and you can take that to SSN, if not, here is the simple one page petition form... Fill that out and bring it back to the window...

I take the form and go have my files pulled, sure as shit, my lawyer did NOT request the court to return my maiden name... FUCK
SO I get a copy of the final divorce decree ANYWAY just for my records $5.00 for 2 pieces of photocopied paper...

I fill out the form and take it back to the window... "Oh, I should have told you, we need three copies. You can go down to the Library in the BASEMENT and make 2 photocopies....

Me: There is a photocopier BEHIND YOU!

Clerk: Not for public use

Me: I just paid $5.00 for a PHOTOCOPY of MY DIVORCE PAPERS that she COPIED on that machine...

Clerk: Shrugs...

Me: FUCK! So I go down to the basement, pay another $2.00 to get 2 freaking copies and go back upstairs... I go to the window and hand another clerk my Petition for Name change.

New Clerk: "Okay, we need a Self addressed Stamped envelope to mail this back to you after we give this to the judge to sign...."

Me: What? You can't fork over $.39 cents to mail it to me?

New Clerk: "You can go to the basement and buy an envelope and stamp"

Me: I WAS JUST IN THE BASEMENT, You could have given me ALL THE FUCKING DIRECTIONS AND REQUIREMENTS the first time I was at the window. Actually my exact words were... "My, that little gem of wisdom should be imparted at the same time you send us down to hell to make COPIES!"

New Clerk: ..... If you don't want and SASE you can come and pick it up out of the box

Me: I look over and see a huge box full of documents ANY ONE FROM THE PUBLIC can PICK THROUGH.... NO FREAKING WAY... back to the basement I go and pay, get this.... $3.00 for a fucking PLAIN WHITE ENVELOPE Ya know the kind you can buy at the drug store for $2.00 for 100 and a fucking .39 cent STAMP I AM RAPED AGAIN BY UNCLE SAM

I am no longer in a mood that can come even close to amiable... I go BACK up to the third floor clerks office thrust my SELF ADDRESSED STAMPED ENVELOPE AT HER and am then informed it can take up to SIX FUCKING WEEKS!

For a fucking NO BRAINER JUDGE SIGNATURE? ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
So I fucking leave fuming, There is no way to change my Social Security Number without that fucking petition... but I say WHAT THE HELL, the day cannot get any worse and I've spent 4 hours now doing this BULLSHIT so I stop at the DMV on the way home.

That was easy, it cost me ANOTHER $21.00 but all I had to show them was my divorce paperwork and they up and changed it, took a new picture and sent me on my not-so-merry way. That was only about 20 minutes too, in and out.

Tomorrow is the bank and my credit cards and then when I get my petition back I can do Social Security and my JOB W2.

Ladies, don't ever give up your name, it's a PAIN IN THE ASS TO CHANGE!

That was my lovely vacation day today.

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