July 22nd, 2004

aph-SuFin (My Art) 2

PAIN

Well I know what was causing my Stomach ICK yesterday.

Holds middle from massive cramping as once again I have to do laundry immediately upon waking.

FUCK!

OW.

I hate being a woman!
  • Current Mood
    nauseated nauseated
aph-SuFin (My Art) 2

More Personal Insights...

Sometimes, a lot of the time, my mind wanders introspectively, and I see the good and BAD parts of my nature.

We'll start with the BAD and the things that Really make me MAD

1. I'm a loner

2. I can be frigid and cold and do not touch me when I'm being anti-social.

3. I get irritated at small things. (like moving my shit from where I had it and not putting BACK in the precise place where they found it. That one really irritates me and it happens EVERYWHERE. Work and home. ARRRGH! This is my fault cause I'm ANAL, there is a precise spot for all my stuff and I like it there.)

4. I get annoyed having to give information or directions to people more than once. If you know you have a hard time remembering details, write shit down! Please don't make me tell you over and over and over like a broken record.

5. I HATE having the same debate over and over and over. Once is enough, if you did not succeed in changing my opinion the first time around chances are it's not GOING TO CHANGE and can you PLEASE talk about something ELSE?

6. I'm gonna state #5 again because that one truly is one of the things in life that gets my panties in a twist.

7. I'm uber independent, and I like it that way. I was a doormat for years, now I'm the other extreme. Deal with it, this is not really a bad trait, but it pisses people off. Sorry I will do for myself thank you.

8. Stupidity when the person is NOT STUPID. I think there is no excuse for not using your brain and common sense. We all fuck up and have bouts of stupidity, continually walking around in a fog when you're capable of blowing the fog away? That will anger me, because I see a person content to walk around in the fog and let others fix the fuck ups for them. Sorry I do NOT DO THAT FOR ANYONE BUT ME. I'll give you a paper fan, I expect you to wave it around. That's the extent of the help I give. It's like that old saying give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him HOW to fish and he'll eat for life. That's so true. I'll point and tell you this is how it's done, this is how you fix it, this is a suggestion to keep it from happening again. After I tell you several options I expect a person to either use one of them or come up with their own solution. If you don't do anything and sit there and wait for me to fix it for you? That's a sure fire way to make me extremely ANGRY.

9. No motivation and Apathy. Again this ties into my last pet peeve, sitting around doing NOTHING waiting for life to hand you what you want. Life is too short and it's gonna HAND YOU FUCK ALL. You have to get up, get dressed, march your ass to the door, walk out and seize the world by the balls to get anything. Making up excuses while sitting around, puttering around, watching TV, surfing the internet or sleeping your life away will not get you what you want. I sadly know a SHITLOAD of people who do this, and it mind boggles me. Short of winning the lotto these folks are gonna go no where fast.

10. I am overly opinionated

11. I am bitchy

12. I sometimes am too honest and blunt and straight-shooting. I don't lie and I don't take the edge off the truth either.

13. I can be tactless without meaning to be.

The comments are OFF, why? Because these sayings are not directed at any one person, this is about me, and what lights my fuse in the worst way. If perhaps you think you resemble any of these, at least I haven't killed you right? And now you know what pushes my buttons and how to avoid them. And I'd do the GOOD but I gotta go to work, I have the worst cramps EVAR and I'm in a pissy mood so I'll write the good side later if I'm up to it.


EDIT: Screw Work I can't stand UP straight and now I'm throwing up blood, not good. I have called in, and have a Dr's Appointment at 1:45

So onto the GOOD.... Things that make me Happy.

1. When someone succeeds in a goal, be it myself or a friend, I get extremely happy. I'm as happy for someone else as I am for myself. I can really get "IN" to a triumph no matter how great or small.

2. I am usually beyond easy to please. Little things anger me and at the same time little things also make me happy. A good conversation over iced tea at the kitchen table, sitting around together as a family watching a movie, discussing a book with Mom, drawing a picture, writing a story, Dad getting out his guitar and all of us having a sing-song, looking at old photo albums. I don't need a lot to make me smile, just something genuine.

3. Learning something new everyday, that gives me such a high.

4. Watching the Cats or the Dog play or just watching my fish. The cats crack me up, the dog is a goofball and the fish are so tranquil.

5. Reading a good book or fic

6. WIT, I love to laugh.

7. Gonna state #6 again, Humor is sublime to me.

8. Chocolate in any form.

9. Art, I love to sit and just look at art, it floats my boat.

and there's more, but I think I've gabbed enough for one morning and I should try to eat something. Cottage cheese sounds good about now.
  • Current Mood
    bitchy bitchy
aph-SuFin (My Art) 2

Back from the PCP

Well, I'm going to be getting an ultra sound of my pelvis. I have a history of Ovarian Cysts, and Uterine Cancer runs in my family, and seeing as the PAIN is focused in the right side of my womb where there is NOTHING has both me and my Doctor worried. There is no ovary or tube on the right side, yet all the pain is focused there. And the last time I had a cyst I had the same symptoms. The day before my period I am sick as a dog with nausea, the next day I am flat out in pain. For the past 3 periods it's the same thing, and getting progressively worse, so better safe than sorry and get an ultrasound and see if there are any masses in there.

*fingers crossed it's just a benign cyst causing the woes*
  • Current Mood
    blah blah