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Humorous Spam I must comment on...

In Honor of Stupid People :
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(And that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 7th, 2003 09:57 pm (UTC)
*fanning self laughing*
Bwahahah! I think the Swedish chainsaw and the Japanese food processor are linked somehow! Hahahaaa!
Aug. 7th, 2003 10:30 pm (UTC)
LMAO!! With the chainsaw one, I think it has to do with some very interesting (albiet disturbing) claims my sister has handled in the past. She is a Worker's Comp insurance adjuster after all for one of the MI carpenter unions. <=)
Aug. 7th, 2003 11:00 pm (UTC)
And I suppose whoever doesn't get it ends up winning the Darwin Awards. >_<;; The frightening thing is that... there are actually those who don't get it.
Aug. 8th, 2003 01:26 am (UTC)
Darn I was hoping to get around to posting that on my Lj. Oh well.

Chainsaw one is my fave. But the () was different on the one I got. (Was there a chance of this happening somewhere ...Good God)
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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